Vanessa Van Petten's EBook

Vanessa Van Petten released her EBook, “The Dirt E-secrets of an Internet Kid” this week. The 70+ page book elaborates on the way kids communicate on the World Wide Web and outlines all the things parents should know about what their child is doing on the Internet.

Van Petten writes a parenting advice column online (called a blog, which we’ll go over at a later date) on a variety of topics, but she tackles the E World specifically in many of her posts.
What I like most about her EBook is she dispels what she labels “inadequate advice” that you hear most often. I’ll give you just one example and urge you to buy the book for the others.

Inadequate Advice: Keep the Computer in a Public Room. Why is this inadequate? While it is still a good idea, Van Petten argues, rightfully I’ll add, teens are too smart to let this stop them from doing the things you don’t want them to do on the Internet. Believe me, our computer was in the very public game room and I still found a way to sneakily access chat rooms and other inappropriate websites.

So what is a parent to do?

For starters, get to know the technology. It can serve as a bonding tool for you and your children and as a way to share your lives and communicate.

Also, have very clear, very specific rules about what your kids can and cannot do when on the Internet. This will PREVENT problems, as well.

In addition to parent tips, Van Petten also offers interesting and youthful insight (including charts) into online dating, cyberbullying, instant updates and why kids love them, and much more. The book is $10 and you can find it through the links above.

The Big Apple

Parry Aftab, a well-known cyber lawyer, is teaming up with a number of organizations and companies to host the first annual International Cyberbullying Conference in New York City.

This will be my first trip to the Big Apple, so I'll keep you posted on the two-day conference and my navigation of Grand Central Station and subways! I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous.

What to do part 2

Specific Tips for the Cyberbullied
If you have been cyberbullied, remember the following:
1. Don't respond! That's what the cyberbully wants you to do. They feed off the attention.
2. Block them. From your buddy list, friend list, e-mail, cell phone, wherever.
3. Keep all messages, e-mails, communication as evidence.
4. Tell a trusted adult like your parent, teacher, counselor, or mentor.

If your child has been cyberbullied:
1. Do not overreact. They will be less likely to tell you if they think you’ll take away their computer.
2. Keep all communication.
3. Contact your service provider if the cyberbullying doesn’t stop.

Go to http://www.kamaron.org/index.php/p/111/t/Cyber-bullying-articles-facts for a more comprehensive list of solutions.

Deleting Cyberbullying

The best way to combat Cyberbullying is to teach our children Cyber Citizenship Skills, or Netiquette from early on.



This PSA from the Ad Council really demonstrates the nastiness of cyberbullying and also emphasizes one of the problems with cyberbullies: their lack of empathy over the Internet. Most kids would never say or do what they say and do online in person (they wouldn't have the courage or the heart,) but there is obviously a major disconnect between what kids think of as "real" and online life. A big key to ending cyberbullying will be overcoming this disconnect.

A Compelling Look into Cyberbullying

http://www.mindoh.com/docs/MB_Cyberbullying.pdf

I found this article on MindOh.com and thought it offered a compelling glimpse into Cyberbullying.

What struck me most was the idea that cyberbullying is worse than traditional bullying because it reaches into what the author calls "private sanctuaries," i.e. the home and the bedroom.

The authors also offer an interesting, perhaps idealistic, solution called "character education," which is based on our "shared values," (though I wonder who determines these shared values?)

Indeed, this is worth reading.

Who Cyberbullies?

Traditional bullying often results because a child’s physical or social stature may be smaller than the bully’s, but that is not always the case with Cyberbullying. Unfortunately, the anonymous and technical nature of the Internet opens doors for all kinds of children to participate in bullying.

Experts have narrowed the list to four main types of cyberbullies.

The Vengeful Angel- This type of cyberbully does not see him/herself as a bully, but rather as an avenger of the weak, of the bullied. They’re not bullying, they’re simply righting wrongs.

The Power-hungry Or Revenge of the Nerds- This cyberbully likes the feeling of power over others. This type of cyberbully is very much related to a traditional bully, and is oftentimes a victim of traditional bullying. They may have more technical skills and the anonymity of the Internet makes them feel invincible.

“Mean Girls”- If you’ve seen the movie, think Regina, Gretchen and Karen go wired. These cyberbullies like to plan their attacks in groups for pure entertainment. Again, it’s about power, but not necessarily anonymity. These bullies need an audience and need approval from the “group” as their reward.

The Inadvertent Cyberbully- Inadvertent bullies do not think they’re bullies at all. They may be playing a prank on a friend, trying out a new online identity, or responding to someone who attacked them. Though this type of cyberbullying is unintentional, it can still damage others significantly.

Negative Effects of Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying (and bullying) erodes children’s self-esteem and often results in depression, lower grades, truancy, tardiness, eating disorders and anxiety for both victims and perpetrators. In the most extreme cases, as we’ve seen, cyberbullying can lead to suicide or physical harm for the victim and/or the bully.

The Cyberbully
There are negative affects for the cyberbully, too. The cyberbully is 2.5 times more likely to be bullied offline. They are also more likely to behave disruptively and to smoke and drink in addition to suffering from the problems listed earlier. (Patchin and Hinduja, 2006).

At its worst, cyberbullying destroys families and ruins lives. Perhaps less extreme but equally important, it disrupts students’ psychological well-being in an oftentimes immeasurable and irreversible way. It keeps both victims and perpetrators from doing their best and reaching their fullest potential.

Is Cyberbullying REALLY a problem?

One study determined 49 percent of surveyed students, ages 13-18, had been cyberbullied (Raskauskas, Stolz, 2007).

Pew Internet's (2007) report says 32 percent.

Another one reported 33 percent. This particular study also reported that 41 percent of youth did not tell anyone about the bullying (Patchin & Hinduja, 2006.)

Regardless the differences in percentages, the cyberbullying trend needs immediate attention by all invested parties.

While we're on the subject...

The Today show featured a story this morning about the recent charges filed on Lori Drew, the woman who created the fake Myspace account that many believed played a pivotal role in Megan Meier’s decision to commit suicide. The AP reported that Drew is charged with “one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing protected computers without authorization to obtain information to inflict emotional distress on the girl.”

This case may very well set a legal precedent for cyberbullying incidents and it will be interesting to follow it through to trial and the inevitable appeal that will follow.

What is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying occurs when a person uses the Internet or other electronic means (a.k.a. cell phones) to persistently harass, humiliate, or intimidate another.

Cyberbullying can be anonymous or not. It can take place in chat rooms, instant messengers, e-mail, social networking sites, text messages, blogs, and websites.

It can range from posting mean comments on someone’s social networking site, to stealing a password and sending out an embarrassing message or photo, to creating a hate site dedicated to berating an individual, to stalking.

Here are a few examples from an excellent cybersafety resource, Nancy Willard:

Flaming
– Online “fights” using electronic messages
Harassment
– Repeatedly sending offensive messages
Denigration
– Sending or posting material about a person to damage his or her reputation or friendships
Impersonation
– Posing as a person and posting material to make the person look bad, get in trouble or
danger, or damage that person’s reputation or friendships
Outing and Trickery
– Sharing someone’s secrets or embarrassing information or images online or tricking
someone into revealing such information and then sharing
Exclusion
– Intentionally excluding someone from an online group
Cyberstalking
– Repeatedly sending threatening and intimidating messages or engaging in other online activities that make a person afraid for her or his safety

Cyberbullying

While bullying probably goes back to the beginning of schools, it’s taken on a new face in the current Internet age.

I know many of us have been on edge since recent events in Lakeland, Florida, and Megan Meier’s tragic decision to take her own life because of a Myspace relationship gone badly still resonates with us. I know many are thinking, “where is technology taking us?”

Still, I’m sure most parents also wonder just how pervasive is Cyerbullying? Does it affect girls more than boys? How can we combat Cyberbullying. I’ll answer these questions in separate posts as best as I can and refer you to the experts when I can’t.

Breaking It Down

What are the major problems with kids using the Internet? Though the Internet poses a number of safety problems for parents and schools, it can also be a fabulous learning resource. So how do you distinguish between the problems and the resources?

That's why I'm here.

I’ve listed the issues that affect children online most often. Throughout the month, I’ll talk about each issue individually, how it affects school safety and what you can do about each one.

Cyberbullying
Social Networking
Online Solicitation/Predators
Privacy/ Identity Theft
Internet “Addiction” (I use the term loosely)
Cell Phones
Online Gaming (Think XBox 360)

New Ebook for Parents

Vanessa Van Petten, parenting guru, released a book called The Dirt E-Secrets of an Internet Kid today. I’ll check it out and report my findings right here on Blog-A-Ware!

Internet Safety 101

Welcome to the Internet Safety Issues blog at Texas School Safety Center! My name is Rebekah and I’m the Education Information Technology Safety Specialist here at TxSSC.
Check back often for updates on the latest technology and Internet issues affecting school safety. My goal will be to provide the most up-to-date information for teachers, administrators, parents, law enforcement, and kids, too.

We desire to keep community stakeholders current on the latest trends in children’s Internet uses, safety concerns and solutions for the most pressing problems, like cyberbullying and identity theft and we'll try our hardest to do so.

The Internet will continue to shape and change our world and the negatives should never outweigh the positives. We at TxSSC want you to see the Internet as an invaluable tool, one that parents, educators and children should not fear.

They’re calling this the greatest “generation gap” since Rock-n-Roll, but together, we’ll hurdle that gap.