Vanessa Van Petten released her EBook, “The Dirt E-secrets of an Internet Kid” this week. The 70+ page book elaborates on the way kids communicate on the World Wide Web and outlines all the things parents should know about what their child is doing on the Internet.
Van Petten writes a parenting advice column online (called a blog, which we’ll go over at a later date) on a variety of topics, but she tackles the E World specifically in many of her posts.
What I like most about her EBook is she dispels what she labels “inadequate advice” that you hear most often. I’ll give you just one example and urge you to buy the book for the others.
Inadequate Advice: Keep the Computer in a Public Room. Why is this inadequate? While it is still a good idea, Van Petten argues, rightfully I’ll add, teens are too smart to let this stop them from doing the things you don’t want them to do on the Internet. Believe me, our computer was in the very public game room and I still found a way to sneakily access chat rooms and other inappropriate websites.
So what is a parent to do?
For starters, get to know the technology. It can serve as a bonding tool for you and your children and as a way to share your lives and communicate.
Also, have very clear, very specific rules about what your kids can and cannot do when on the Internet. This will PREVENT problems, as well.
In addition to parent tips, Van Petten also offers interesting and youthful insight (including charts) into online dating, cyberbullying, instant updates and why kids love them, and much more. The book is $10 and you can find it through the links above.
Friday, May 30, 2008
The Big Apple
Parry Aftab, a well-known cyber lawyer, is teaming up with a number of organizations and companies to host the first annual International Cyberbullying Conference in New York City.
This will be my first trip to the Big Apple, so I'll keep you posted on the two-day conference and my navigation of Grand Central Station and subways! I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous.
This will be my first trip to the Big Apple, so I'll keep you posted on the two-day conference and my navigation of Grand Central Station and subways! I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
What to do part 2
Specific Tips for the Cyberbullied
If you have been cyberbullied, remember the following:
1. Don't respond! That's what the cyberbully wants you to do. They feed off the attention.
2. Block them. From your buddy list, friend list, e-mail, cell phone, wherever.
3. Keep all messages, e-mails, communication as evidence.
4. Tell a trusted adult like your parent, teacher, counselor, or mentor.
If your child has been cyberbullied:
1. Do not overreact. They will be less likely to tell you if they think you’ll take away their computer.
2. Keep all communication.
3. Contact your service provider if the cyberbullying doesn’t stop.
Go to http://www.kamaron.org/index.php/p/111/t/Cyber-bullying-articles-facts for a more comprehensive list of solutions.
If you have been cyberbullied, remember the following:
1. Don't respond! That's what the cyberbully wants you to do. They feed off the attention.
2. Block them. From your buddy list, friend list, e-mail, cell phone, wherever.
3. Keep all messages, e-mails, communication as evidence.
4. Tell a trusted adult like your parent, teacher, counselor, or mentor.
If your child has been cyberbullied:
1. Do not overreact. They will be less likely to tell you if they think you’ll take away their computer.
2. Keep all communication.
3. Contact your service provider if the cyberbullying doesn’t stop.
Go to http://www.kamaron.org/index.php/p/111/t/Cyber-bullying-articles-facts for a more comprehensive list of solutions.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Deleting Cyberbullying
The best way to combat Cyberbullying is to teach our children Cyber Citizenship Skills, or Netiquette from early on.
This PSA from the Ad Council really demonstrates the nastiness of cyberbullying and also emphasizes one of the problems with cyberbullies: their lack of empathy over the Internet. Most kids would never say or do what they say and do online in person (they wouldn't have the courage or the heart,) but there is obviously a major disconnect between what kids think of as "real" and online life. A big key to ending cyberbullying will be overcoming this disconnect.
This PSA from the Ad Council really demonstrates the nastiness of cyberbullying and also emphasizes one of the problems with cyberbullies: their lack of empathy over the Internet. Most kids would never say or do what they say and do online in person (they wouldn't have the courage or the heart,) but there is obviously a major disconnect between what kids think of as "real" and online life. A big key to ending cyberbullying will be overcoming this disconnect.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
A Compelling Look into Cyberbullying
http://www.mindoh.com/docs/MB_Cyberbullying.pdf
I found this article on MindOh.com and thought it offered a compelling glimpse into Cyberbullying.
What struck me most was the idea that cyberbullying is worse than traditional bullying because it reaches into what the author calls "private sanctuaries," i.e. the home and the bedroom.
The authors also offer an interesting, perhaps idealistic, solution called "character education," which is based on our "shared values," (though I wonder who determines these shared values?)
Indeed, this is worth reading.
I found this article on MindOh.com and thought it offered a compelling glimpse into Cyberbullying.
What struck me most was the idea that cyberbullying is worse than traditional bullying because it reaches into what the author calls "private sanctuaries," i.e. the home and the bedroom.
The authors also offer an interesting, perhaps idealistic, solution called "character education," which is based on our "shared values," (though I wonder who determines these shared values?)
Indeed, this is worth reading.
Who Cyberbullies?
Traditional bullying often results because a child’s physical or social stature may be smaller than the bully’s, but that is not always the case with Cyberbullying. Unfortunately, the anonymous and technical nature of the Internet opens doors for all kinds of children to participate in bullying.
Experts have narrowed the list to four main types of cyberbullies.
The Vengeful Angel- This type of cyberbully does not see him/herself as a bully, but rather as an avenger of the weak, of the bullied. They’re not bullying, they’re simply righting wrongs.
The Power-hungry Or Revenge of the Nerds- This cyberbully likes the feeling of power over others. This type of cyberbully is very much related to a traditional bully, and is oftentimes a victim of traditional bullying. They may have more technical skills and the anonymity of the Internet makes them feel invincible.
“Mean Girls”- If you’ve seen the movie, think Regina, Gretchen and Karen go wired. These cyberbullies like to plan their attacks in groups for pure entertainment. Again, it’s about power, but not necessarily anonymity. These bullies need an audience and need approval from the “group” as their reward.
The Inadvertent Cyberbully- Inadvertent bullies do not think they’re bullies at all. They may be playing a prank on a friend, trying out a new online identity, or responding to someone who attacked them. Though this type of cyberbullying is unintentional, it can still damage others significantly.
Experts have narrowed the list to four main types of cyberbullies.
The Vengeful Angel- This type of cyberbully does not see him/herself as a bully, but rather as an avenger of the weak, of the bullied. They’re not bullying, they’re simply righting wrongs.
The Power-hungry Or Revenge of the Nerds- This cyberbully likes the feeling of power over others. This type of cyberbully is very much related to a traditional bully, and is oftentimes a victim of traditional bullying. They may have more technical skills and the anonymity of the Internet makes them feel invincible.
“Mean Girls”- If you’ve seen the movie, think Regina, Gretchen and Karen go wired. These cyberbullies like to plan their attacks in groups for pure entertainment. Again, it’s about power, but not necessarily anonymity. These bullies need an audience and need approval from the “group” as their reward.
The Inadvertent Cyberbully- Inadvertent bullies do not think they’re bullies at all. They may be playing a prank on a friend, trying out a new online identity, or responding to someone who attacked them. Though this type of cyberbullying is unintentional, it can still damage others significantly.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Negative Effects of Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying (and bullying) erodes children’s self-esteem and often results in depression, lower grades, truancy, tardiness, eating disorders and anxiety for both victims and perpetrators. In the most extreme cases, as we’ve seen, cyberbullying can lead to suicide or physical harm for the victim and/or the bully.
The Cyberbully
There are negative affects for the cyberbully, too. The cyberbully is 2.5 times more likely to be bullied offline. They are also more likely to behave disruptively and to smoke and drink in addition to suffering from the problems listed earlier. (Patchin and Hinduja, 2006).
At its worst, cyberbullying destroys families and ruins lives. Perhaps less extreme but equally important, it disrupts students’ psychological well-being in an oftentimes immeasurable and irreversible way. It keeps both victims and perpetrators from doing their best and reaching their fullest potential.
The Cyberbully
There are negative affects for the cyberbully, too. The cyberbully is 2.5 times more likely to be bullied offline. They are also more likely to behave disruptively and to smoke and drink in addition to suffering from the problems listed earlier. (Patchin and Hinduja, 2006).
At its worst, cyberbullying destroys families and ruins lives. Perhaps less extreme but equally important, it disrupts students’ psychological well-being in an oftentimes immeasurable and irreversible way. It keeps both victims and perpetrators from doing their best and reaching their fullest potential.
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